Wow a week has gone by and I have lots on my mind. If I could just spill them all out in the air so that I would feel fine and get the things done. I am battling  a lot of emotions with everything that is around me. I feel like my foundation is being put to the test and my life is changing and that is a good thing. I accept change but at times I dont always embrace it and that is the hardest part in life. But I know when it all over I can say look I made it through and life is good. I have felt great this past week its been great. But Friday was rough day felling like I missed many opportunities and did not live up to what I know what to do in life and that is hard. I never want someone ever see me as a problem but as a solution in life, I know serving others is my calling and helping out is what makes me fill complete but its hard when I know I need someone like myself to help out I know its there I just have to see it and look at the fog but look at things around me. I know I will be fine it always works out. I know I have not made the best decisions but I know I have had time to think about them and know I have fixed or got through them the best that I can.

I know that I cant not worry about others and what they choice and I should not worry as much as I do but I have always been that way and I am a personable type of person. I cant change who I am!!! I do know what the cost is when that happens but its hard when I never say anything and another person say that of the bat what does that mean? That they feel like they can be may friend but cant cause of the rule they play in life at this moment? Or is there more to this and I cant see it or am I reading more into it then I should!! I know I read more into things at time, but this is hard not too. This person is actually my age and I like the fact that they are just as thick skin and hard headed as I am!! Dont meet many people like that. I dont meet many people that I meet and would like to be friends with off the bat!! And this person is just like that!!! I would love to be friends and say hey would you like to go out for coffee? I would love to get to know them more and more even if they are struggling with being my friend.
 Such my luck at this point but we will see what happens in the end!! Cause the rule that this person plays is only for a little while!!!

I am ready for life to get easier but I heard some worth wild words "If it gets easier then life its self is not worth living cause you most likely gave up." Never thought of it like that!!Well as I have life in front of me and as the challenges come my way may I make friends that last as long as it could and just maybe I will find someone who is willing to put up with me!!!







My friends words:
"ah, those amazing moments when you feel the blood pulsating in the tips of your fingers and right behind your ears. and you want it to just spill out into sticky puddles of all the things even words on paper cannot say. in this second (righteous) feelings resume of murderous ambitions and a sloppy exuberance for life. oh, to lick the stars in dreams and eat dirt in waking hours. to partake of all this existence has to offer; be it lovely or infected. this is destruction and peace. finest times."
Sara Nagle